I have neglected this blog, shamefully, I must apologize.  I really meant this blog to be a place where someone could come and say the things that are really on their heart, no matter what they are, and find a place of acceptance.
So forgive me for not being here, and continuing what I started. Chalk it up to inexperience, the busyness of life, or simple forgetfulness.  But I am back and will continue what I started.

Right now what is on my heart is this: Can I really do all the things I've set myself up to do?  I've started college last semester, and it's more than I thought. Not physically, not really, I expected it to be quite a bit of exercise interrupted by quite a bit of brain matter being scrambled. But can I do this, get a college degree, at my age? It's harder than I really ever thought it might be. I didn't have to even hardly crack a book in high school to get a good grade. I didn't think it would be that easy now, but really, I mean come on, "is my brain even still in there" is the thought I have most days.

Well, I've set myself up to do this, and I WILL NOT FAIL!! I may not get straight A's, but I will get good enough grades to continue to do what I want to do.

So there.

Worries, stresses, and other no no's

I love and appreciate all the people who try their best to encourage me when something isnt going right.  I am awed sometimes by the amount of scripture that some people know.  I wish I could memorize like that, it would no doubt help me very, very much in times when I feel almost desperate.  Although I will be the first to admit, my desperation is often of my own making.  I know He is going to take care of me, so why let myself get in such a state?  I mean really, at my age you think I would have learned something, sigh.

Sometimes though I cant help but wonder, almost wish, you might say, that someone would listen to me, take me hand, look deep into my eyes, and say, "Oh Lord, what are you going to do????!!!!"  I mean, can you imagine it?  It would definately get my attention.  And while I might have a momentary panic attack, it actually might help jump start my own sense of reality.  Hearing that come back at me... what's in my mind...... would probably have me jumping up and defending my Lord (who doesnt need my defense), and telling the person that God was gonna take care of everything, not to worry.

Nothing like reverse psycology, is there.

The Blessing of Children

The Bible says that children are a blessing and a heritage from the Lord.  Now while I firmly believe the Bible and it's Author, I cant help but wonder about the pslamist.  There is a part of me that wonders, ever so briefly sometimes, if the pslamist didnt leave out another comment.  Something at the end of that verse like "......no, really, I mean it, they are."  Please dont think Im being sacriligious or anything like that.  Just letting my mind consider the possibilities.

If we are created in His image, then we have to know that the Lord has a really big sense of humor.

Getting Started

I suppose with any new venture there is always a certain amount of nervousness. The same holds true here. I have as many questions as I do things to say. I want this blog to be about how people keep themselves so closed in, shut off, from each other. Very rarely do you ever find someone who is completely transparent. I suppose it's because we are afraid of getting hurt, made fun of, you name it. Human beings tend to be rather brutal at times, oddly enough even to each other. And often to people we claim to love the most.

So here I am. I am going to try to be as transparent in my thoughts and feelings as possible. I dont me humanly possible. I mean I am going to ask God to help me be as transparent as HE would have me be, and then hold on for one of the rides of my life.

Lest you sigh and think, "Oh, not another religious blog", I assure you that although I will talk about Him whenever I feel I need to, I will also be talking about countless other things. Things that interest, amaze, frustrate, amuse, and otherwise cross my path.

So that's it for now. Just a preview of what's to come. Hopefully someone out there will cosider it worth their time to read. And yes, please let me know what you think. Try not to be purposely hurtful, but let me know. Im here.

Donna